Away to binge like a mother fucker just because I can and the small issue of feeling like total shit but not much has changed there.
Pete told me he still loved me the other day and ever since, I have been avoiding him like the plague.
Mum thinks she has cancer and the doctor has referred her to a specialist at the hospital and me being the heartless closed off bitch I am, barely reacted.
I didn't wake up till late today cause I thought dream world was the real world so kept going back to sleep to avoid whatever I was dreaming about and thought was real. I told Pete a bit about it only so he didn't think I was ignoring his texts (which I was also doing) and he told me he doesn't think I'm ready to go back to uni and he sticks by that. Fuck that, I'm going back to uni whether he like it or not, also whether I'm fucked up or not.
Life goes on if I'm unhinged or not.
Time to binge my feelings away.
Ahaha, someone tells you they love you and you avoid them, god that sounds familiar. Got to face the music at some point dear so either you stress and binge for a while before having a talk, or you do it sooner and save yourself a lot of stress. But again, I know it's difficult.
ReplyDeleteI really hope your Mum is okay. Waiting for news is horrible.
Going back to university pushes all this new information in to your head and pushes down some of the negativity. That's why I'm going back. But it's still nice you have someone to worry about you and who wants what they think is best for you.
Stay strong. I hope the binging makes you feel better, but in my experience it ususally doesn't...
x
aww i'm so sorry to hear about your mum. i don't know about you but whenever i hear really horrible news i'm in like state-of-shock and don't react at all. could this be why you hardly reacted?
ReplyDeleteyou're not a heartless bitch, that's for sure.
hope things look up for you lovely, xxxx