Titles suck

I should really learn to blog earlier cause the later it gets the more my mood falls and I'm fed up of this all being depressing shit and I care what people think of me and if anyone has been reading this for any amount of time, I'm pretty sure they'll think I'm an attention seeker or just a stupidly depressed, over dramatic biatch.

Pete (my ex) is doing his very best to make me laugh and smile at every chance he gets. I really don't know why he's bothering with me. I'm still refusing to get too close to him and I've pretty much told him that I don't want to be close to anyone ever again. He didn't take it too well and refuses to give up on me/us. I didn't realise how closed up I have gotten till he got back in touch and tonight I think I'm acting really cold but it's just cause I'm feeling shitty and somewhat numb and not much emotions are registering with me so Pete being honest with me isn't affecting me as much as it should. For example this was said earlier.

Pete: "I just wanted to say that I miss you so much.. I miss how we were, when we were happy.. I miss YOU when you were.. well.. you. I wish I could turn back the time. I wish you didn't do things. I wish it was a perfect world in which you never left when you came here, and that we got a place together, somehow, and actually got what WE wanted, for a change."


He should have given up a long time ago, I'm not worth his time and he deserves better. I apparantly still help him, make him smile and laugh, make him happy and brighter, I inspire him to write good poetry and do some awesome shit on his guitar amongst other things. I broke him and he should have learnt to stay away from me.

I'm not a good person hence why I can't let anyone get close to me ever again and also it might keep me somewhat sane.

I'm sorry for the self pity once again but here I can be honest, mostly anyway.