I'm falling in love with Chemistry all over again since coming back to university and sparking up my hate towards maths. My brain goes fucking crazy when it sees numbers, so much that I end up learning nothing then breaking down in tears thinking I'm a failure.
I have a lot of reading to do for the history of science which is a pain cause there is heaps of really long unpronounceable greek names and it sounds like the book is ancient and it probably is, haha.
I went to two Hip Hop classes last night. One beginners and one advanced and it was incredible cause I haven't felt more in my element in a long time plus I had so much fun. I came home and ate dinner feeling less guilty cause I had been working out intensely for over 2 hours. I did yoga the day before and on Monday I did ballet and contemporary. Also I live in the top of the buiding which means lots of stairs, AND I walk everywhere. That makes me feel good cause I'm getting exercise instead of lazing around binging all day which I have done now and again since arriving but not a huge amount. Saying that I just ate a chocolate croissant and I'm tucking in to grapes atm.
I haven't self harmed in a few days. That was ironic, I just got a phone call from the self harm project as I was typing this lol. They told me they haven't forgotten about me but there is a bit of a waiting list as they are going through some staff changes. I need that appointment quite badly cause I am on the verge of doing some silly shit and I admit I need some sort of support in place. I made an appointment with the disability office for next Tuesday to get an assessment done so I can recieve support through my university so hopefully that will get sorted out really soon and I have medical evidence which should help things move along nicely.
This blog is really long, sorry. I think only a few people read this now anyway so oh well.
Hope you are all doing good. Xxx
Aww just because you struggle with maths doesn't make you a failure :( people are good at different things and you enjoy chemistry and other subjects and you're probably a lot better at them than most people :) I'm the type of person who can do maths and only maths and I really struggle with other subjects, and no one is perfect at everything so don't worry. Besides academicness doesn't matter compared to personality and things.
ReplyDeleteHistory of science sort of sounds like Classical Civilisation (study of ancient Greek literature and architecture, which is one of my A2 subjects at the moment) with all those horrible Greek names (damn you Peististratus! ;)) what books do you need to read for it? :)
I'm glad you enjoyed yourself at hip hop :) though sorry you're focusing on the calorie aspect of it too :(
That's good you havent harmed in a while :) and thats nice they called you to keep you informed :) hopefully you'll get their support soon and that's good you want their help :)
It doesn't matter if you're blogs long, the good thing is you've let it out :) take care, xxxxxx
The most intelligent person I know (English teacher from last year) was an absolute failure at Math, too. The only people that like/can do Math are usually the teachers, so don't be upset if you can't understand it. Everybody is good at different things. :)
ReplyDeleteKeep the no-self harming up, that's super excellent, and that self harm project sounds good as well for calling.
If you want the help, then you can get it. Don't give up.
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