Uni, mental health and other random shit

So I got an email back about student accommodation and it's all being sorted for me. I don't even need to apply as they will find a room for me as well as a room mate. However this all comes with one condition...I must have support in place for going back to university.

I didn't want to go into the mental health system when I move as I've been in the mental health system in that city and it fucking sucks. I've said I will see about getting mentor support which will help me with my studies and my mental health but I need to go through the disability office for this and I need to provide evidence that I have had mental health illnesses for over a year. Obviously that won't be much of a problem but that then requires me telling them that I'm currently on the waiting list for psychotherapy and seen as I'm moving I was intending on not taking that any further. The resident life co-ordinator wants to know everything about my support network and I know she wants me to be under professional help but I don't want that.

She told me that my room mate will be a regular 1st year student, focusing on their studies too and won't be a professional to help...I fucking know this. The only reason I wanted a room mate was so that I'm not stuck in a room on my own all the time like last year and that ended in me self harming all the time and attempting suicide. So in a way that's part of my safety measures.

I really don't want them forcing me into the mental health system as I've had it with the system. I know the doctors down where I'm moving and convincing them I don't need mental health help will be tough.

I want to try and get better and do it somewhat on my own...I don't want useless professionals making me feel like shit or a list of pills being thrown at me.

Moving away will give me some freedom again which I seriously can't wait for. It means I won't have fuck loads of binge food at my disposal so hopefully I can cut down on the purging. However I do know that I probably won't eat as much...if at all but ED related shit can go fuck a duck.

My mum is so fucking useless with technology. She just handed me the new house phone and expects me to set it all up. >.>

I'm away to work with her...it has nothing to do with potentially getting binge food.

Anyways, thank you Jessie and Lily, you two made me feel a lot better. Thanks for your support and kind words.

Have a good night everyone. <3